Land of the Lost

Yesterday, I stumbled across something called the Doe Network. It is a bit morbid, but I was fascinated. This network is dedicated to discovering the identities of John/Jane Does found over the years. I had a vague recollection of hearing about something like this, but had no idea...

If you have time, read this article. It is an inspiring story of how this network came to be.

The sheer number of unidentified victims and missing persons out there is staggering. I just briefly scrolled down the John/Jane Does and saw page after page after page of unidentified people. There are several thousands. Many are victims of probable crimes, and some were found after more innocent events (car accidents and such). I just found the entire matter very, very sad.

The saddest thing that I realized was that many of these missing people and found people do not match. That means that there are more people out there that have not been found. And even worse, there are many people out there that have been found, but were not reported missing. Ugh.

Now, being the goofball I am, I decided to try to find a missing girl from Texas. So I put on my cape and spent about 45 minutes on the search. I did everything I could think of to find her. She did not appear to be one of the Jane Doe’s listed. So, I thought she must still be alive. I was actually giddy. I started checking Google for any entries for her. I even checked to make sure she didn’t have a Facebook page… she didn’t. All I could find was articles about how she went missing.

I’m an idiot. As if these people hadn’t done this already. Did I really think that I was going to find her – in 45 minutes? If she was just a runaway, do I really think she would have a Facebook page using her real name? Maybe she didn’t want to be found. Even as I type this, I roll my own eyes! I’m ridiculous.

Still, I think this is such a remarkable project and I wanted to share it with you. I wish I could help these poor people: both the living looking for the lost, and the lost who cannot speak for themselves.

Most poignant to me was the comment in the article: "The one real fear in life is not death -- the greatest monster of all is the unknown.”

The Presence of Sound vs. The Gift of Silence

Anyone that knows me will tell you that I’m not frequently described as a quiet person. On the contrary, I like to talk. Silence is usually very uncomfortable for me, so I’m constantly trying to fill that silence with anything. And since I’m not very good a bird calls or singing, I talk.

I am unable to ride in an elevator with another person without commenting on something… their hair, the weather, the elevator buttons, whatever. Waiting in line is another favorite of mine. Misery loves company, and I’m sure to comment on this to those around me. It’s amazing the different reactions you get from strangers when you spark a conversation. Most people seemed genuinely pleased with the interaction, and actually talk back. A few are a little taken aback and seem to want to run from you. Weird.

My two little girls, Pumpkin and Cookie, are already showing very strong signs of trying to keep up with their mother. They talk their Daddy’s ears off. Boog, who is 18-years-old, has the perfect combination of sharing and keeping quiet. However, my son Weasel, who is now 16-years-old, is the exact opposite of his mother.

He doesn’t talk… period. His verbal vocabulary consists of “’salright” and “that’s fine” and some sort of grunt when he shrugs. He has been a quiet guy forever. It’s quite frustrating for me. I want to hear about everything in his life, and he has nothing to share. Not only does he have the affliction of being a teenage boy, he also has a natural tendency to keep quiet. It’s a lethal combination.

In an attempt to figure out if there was anything physically or psychologically wrong with him, I took him to see a doctor. He had been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder when he was about nine, which can be quite debilitating for him. But more recently, the real revelation came in the fact that this doctor diagnosed ME with talking too much! She said that I talked for him, which led him to retreat inside himself. What? Is that really a diagnosis? Is that really a problem?

I always thought that my outgoing personality and talkative nature was a good thing. It was something that always kept me in touch with my fellow man. It was the thing helped me make new friends. It has made me a smartass in the best sense of the word. And now, it’s made my son quiet?

I suppose it makes sense on paper. I talk, therefore he doesn’t. So, what does this mean? Did I create my own sort of Frankenstein monster? How can I live with myself? I damaged my baby boy by being too talkative.

Should I start being quiet now? My husband, I’m sure, would be quick to say yes to that question. But no such luck, Darlin’.

Anyone that knows me now would also not believe that I too was once a quiet young lady long ago. Yup, it’s true. So there is hope that he will grow out of it and be as talkative as his mother one day. It’s going to be getting louder around here over the next few years. Perhaps it’s time to invest in some industrial earplugs, Darlin’.

Within Legal Limits

I adore my mother-in-law. Unlike what is traditionally accepted, I would pick my MIL over most people on this planet. Quite often, I remind my husband that should our relationship not last, then I get his mother and he can have the house. Heck, there are parts of me that wonder if I married him just to be related to her and her family.

The best part of my MIL is that she seems to like me too! When I call her, I usually tell her it’s her favorite daughter-in-law (although I am the only one, which makes me the least favorite too). When she calls, I usually talk to her without even handing the phone to her son… followed by an “Oops, sorry, honey. Did you want to talk to your mom?” And whenever her son does something that irks me, she completely understands and even agrees with me from time to time, instead of blindly defending her offspring.

And her grandbabies… She loves those little girls so much, it’s amazing. Whenever they are around her, she is just laughing and laughing. We are sometimes concerned she will laugh herself into a heart attack. But so far, she has managed to stay conscious. She has the hardest time telling them no, to whatever they request. Although we are working on her to be a little more strict - no more Mountain Dew or Pepsi with their sugary snacks - no staying up to 11:00 p.m. when she babysits.

She is from a real Texas country family. Her family settled not far from Austin many years ago, like the mid 1800’s. She is number 9 out of 14 children! (ouch) And obviously, those children reproduced over the years. Hubs is grandchild number 31, and my two littlest ones are great-grandchildren number 49 and 55 of 58 (after a while, it’s just ludicrous to keep counting). One thing is for sure: Very Big Family! Hubs used to be afraid to date anyone in this part of town for fear that he might find out they were kin!

It is so great to get together with her family because everyone still shows up to the functions. They are a very close family. Even though Grandma and Grandpa have both passed on, all of those kids they created and most of their kids and even their kids’ kids still gather together. We see many of them Labor Day weekend and Memorial Day weekend and at Christmas. They actually have to rent a hall to celebrate Christmas. And I can’t forget to include all the baby showers, bridal showers, weddings, etc. It is the greatest feeling, being with all of those people and actually belonging.

It is so interesting to hear about their lives growing up... about how the boys slept on the porch of their tiny little house... how they would prepare meals for the entire clan… how they would work in the fields. This family is the type that people write television shows about.

And I’m so grateful to be a part of it. So I guess I’ll continue to attempt to keep my husband happy, since he is related by blood. And there probably isn’t a court in the land that would award me his family in the event of divorce. Ahem… you are the best husband in the world, Darlin’.

Technorati Tags: family

Is God Spitting on Us?

Last night, we had a big storm in Austin. It hasn’t rained in what seems like months. And it has been hot, hot, hot. I have lived in Texas all my life, but don’t remember a summer this hot. Although, I think I may say that every summer… but this summer it is the truth! And it’s not just hot, like in Phoenix. It is humid hot. It’s so hot that just looking outside makes you start sweating. And going outside makes you melt. Anyhoo, back to the rain. For days, it has been threatening to rain. The sky would get dark and it would smell like rain. But then it would rain about 5 miles north of Austin and 5 miles south. It felt like perhaps we did something wrong and God was just teasing us. Well, he made up for it last night. It was a gorgeous thunderstorm with rain jut pouring from the sky. And it was in the early evening, so we could still enjoy it. My husband put buckets out to catch the water (so he could water the plants, because this might be the last rain). It was so nice. Then, the lights went out. Oh no! There was a very loud clap of thunder with lightening that I think hit something about 100 feet outside my yard. I even went out to make sure nothing was on fire. Well, nothing was. The lights went out and stayed out, which is actually a bit unusual for us. They were out for about 1 ½ hours. And it was blissful! No TV, no X-box, no static noise… it was so nice. The only sounds were from the kids. And the little ones weren’t even scared (whew!). We just watched the rain. Then put the little girls to bed. It was so quiet in the neighborhood and it was getting so dark as the sun went down. I laughed when I told my husband that it felt like we were the last people on earth and man-eating zombies were approaching. Thank goodness we have that diesel! With nothing else to do, we played games! We attempted to remember how to play Farkle, but couldn’t get the rules straight. (I need my coach, Dawn). Then we played rummy, which I kicked some major butt. Then my son and I were about to start a game of chess… and blip, the lights came back on. Awwwww. But here’s the best thing, he still wanted to play chess with his mom. So I got a little bonding time with my anti-social teenage son. It was wonderful! However, I haven’t been able to beat my son in chess since he was about seven… and he beat me again. I no longer felt like we were being punished. I felt like it was some sort of reward! Thank you for forcing us to spend time as a family!

Carbon-Based Non-Humans

Along with my two batches of children, we also have two batches of animals... two dogs and two cats. I won't include the fish as they are more closely compared to décor than pets. Like the kiddos, the animals are complete opposites from one another. The dogs… Charlie and Sienna. Charlie is a 120-pound golden retriever; Sienna is a 40-pound dachshund/german-shepherd mix (I know, weird). Sienna is bundle of energy and constantly bouncing around, and she is my escape artist. Charlie is a little older and has a bad hip, so he is slower to move. When they play chase, it’s basically Sienna running as fast as she can in a figure-eight while Charlie stands in the middle of the crossroad waiting for her to zip by. He just reaches out to try to get her and doesn’t move his feet. I truly believe he thinks he will actually catch her one day using this method. He’s either smart enough to not try, or too stupid to realize his method isn’t working. I choose to believe he is smart. Now the cats… Sophie and Daphne. Sophie is the anti-social one, just a fat snob. Most people don’t even realize that we had that cat because she never really comes downstairs. She is Boog's cat and knows it. The rest of us are just annoyances to her. Whenever we see her downstairs, our first thought is something is wrong. Daphne is the complete opposite of Sophie. Daphne is a lovable, cuddly, purring kitty that cannot seem to get enough us. She is constantly following us around and sits either right next to us or right on top of us. She even sleeps between my pillow and my Hubs’ pillow. Even though I love her best (I’m not sure if you could tell), she seems to prefer Hubs. It’s probably because he is the primary caretaker of the animals, where I am more like the grandma. I love them all, but really just want to admire and cuddle with them without actually having any actual responsibility. He cleans up the pee from little accidents, feeds them every day, picks up dog poop in the backyard, takes them to the vet, etc. I am not sure what I would do without my zookeeper. It allows me to enjoy the animals without having to do much of anything. And I want to make sure that he knows how much it is appreciated. All of us humans in the house get to enjoy the non-humans thanks to his hard work. Thank you, Darlin'.

Not So Fast, Young Lady...

I spent the day yesterday getting my oldest daughter into college. That's her, on the right. We went to an Advising Day to help her figure out exactly what to take this Fall. We waited in line for about an hour and then we finally advanced... to the next line. Yeah, it took what seemed like forever. And whenever we ran into a wall, someone gave us a little tidbit of information that we needed to get. So, we pursued that little tidbit only to find out we were missing another little tidbit. After about six different tidbits, we finally got the big picture. We weren't missing anything. Ugh... thanks people.

So, we left her new campus to try to find her an apartment. This seems like such an easy task, until you actually start doing it. First of all, going to a college town means there are thousands of rooms for all of those students. That just means there are too many choices. After visiting about seven different complexes, we were able to settle on one.

Now my bright and beautiful daughter has a new home two hours away to move into next month. And then it hits me... move? new home? two hours away? what? This is my baby. Okay, she's 18 and has a nose piercing and an elephant tattoo. I guess she stopped

being my baby long ago. But even though I know it's time for her to grow up and start her life...And even though I can't wait to see what she becomes... And even though I know that she will do a great job... And even though there are three other kids that will be staying at home... I don't want to lose my girl. And what will those little sisters do without her. She's the one that paints their nails, and teaches them how to sing and dance. We'll find a way to make it without her everyday. I hope she comes home every weekend, especially if she is using her own gas money.

Now go load the dishwasher. And pick up your brother on your way home tomorrow. You're not gone yet, baby. Oh no, I'm losing my slave too.

Booga-booga-booga. I love you, Boog.

Man TV

My husband just loves Man Shows. I don't mean shows with scantily clad women jumping up and down on a trampoline. I don't even mean shows with a bunch of guys dressed in the same outfit throwing a ball. I mean shows like Build it Bigger or How Do They Do That? or Modern Marvels or whatever. I'm guessing that many of you women know what I'm talking about. It seems every time I'm not home, he is watching these shows. It is funny because I think he is actually thinking, "I can do that" when they are blowing up a structure or building a giant ship. To him, it's fascinating. To me, it's kind of interesting... for about ten minutes. Once I figure out what they are doing, I'm basically done watching. I just realized this is actually Mr. Rogers Neighborhood for grown men. Remember on Mr. Rogers, between him changing his shoes and talking to King Friday in the World of Make-Believe, they would show clips of factories making crayons and stuff. And the new King Friday is Peter Griffin. I suppose it is better than my dad. He DVR's Jag and NCIS and all those military shows... and watches them over and over and over again. It doesn't matter if he has seen the episode fifteen times. He is still surprised when they actually win the case! At least my husband's TV fetish might help him learn something in the meantime. And with any luck, we might be the only family in the neighborhood with a loop-d-loop steel coaster in the backyard. So you just keep watching, Sweetheart... watch and learn!

Leaping into the Abyss of Blogdom...

Well, it appears that my very first blog post isn’t on my blog at all. It’s on my dear friend's blog , Dawn in Austin… http://www.heiferyung.com/2009/07/letters-from-home.html. She has inspired me to start my own blog. Now I cannot guarantee that anything that I write will be enjoyable, but I can guarantee that it will be legible (thank you, keyboard). I name my blog “View from the Lily Pad” for one simple reason. I love frogs. Not real ones – I love inanimate frogs… like frog figurines, frog pictures, frog décor. I am not terribly fond of frog stuffed animals, at least not anymore. It seems that when you “love” something, people get you that thing for Christmas, birthdays, Mother’s days, Tuesdays, whatever. And I’ve accumulated way too may frog stuffed animals. I don’t even seem to buy frogs anymore, or at least that’s what I tell my husband. And speaking of my husband, he is a very forgiving sort of man. We have frogs in nearly every room in the house… even the Christmas tree has frog ornaments. We have frogs outside on the front porch and frogs on the back patio. I know he doesn’t like it too much, but he loves me enough to overlook them. So, let me be clear – this blog will NOT be about frogs. I plan for it to be more about my life and my observations of the people and events around me. I will do my best not to offend anyone, although sometimes that cannot be helped (note: that was my disclaimer) About me… let’s see… I feel like my life is relatively boring. Although when I think about it, it’s anything but. I’m a terribly busy mom of two batches of two kids. My kids are currently 18, 16, 4 and 2. Some people would call that four kids, but it really feels more like two batches. You just can’t describe having two kids driving their cars and two kids driving their Power Wheels at the same time. I have a wonderful husband. We have been married for about seven years and have not started to itch yet. My plan is to write every couple of days. I hope to get better at this as I go along. Please don’t give up on me!