Good Luck With That

I recently had a dear friend teach me the most important words a mother of a teenager could learn: “good luck with that.” I’m finding that little phrase to be a most powerful set of words. Whenever I don’t agree with what my oldest batch is doing, the best response is probably, “good luck with that.”

For example, I think Weasel is a genius. He has always been very smart, although you could not tell it by his grades in school. He is currently a junior in high school, and I actually find myself worrying that he won’t graduate next year. I keep getting notifications from school that he is failing this, or that he’s not turning in that project, or that he hasn’t completed his homework. My first instinct is to get enraged, beat the crap out of him, ground him from his car and anything else he values. Then… that little phrase… “good luck with that.”

All of a sudden, I’m off the hook. I realize that my nearly grown son is making these choices. And the only way he’ll ever learn whether he is making the right choice or the wrong choice would be to live with the consequences. If he makes bad decisions, he’ll have to live it… and vice versa if he makes good decisions.

Then the most amazing thing happens… They are liberated from being over-mothered (which I’ve been known to do from time to time). They are the ones that always want to be treated like adults. Well, welcome to adulthood. And at the same time, I’m liberated from feeling so responsible for the failures of my children. I finally realize that if they fail, it actually doesn’t reflect on me directly at all. I’m still a good mom, even if my kids aren’t perfect!

So thank you, Dawn, for helping me become a better mom to my teenagers. Now, if I could only get my little batch to clean their playroom. Well, one day at a time…