Bun in the Oven or Bum in the Oven

Some of you may remember my bitch-post about how my mother would not retire. Well, good news… she is retiring September 1. (Although, I’ll believe it when I see it)

I realized that these nine months until she retires will be like the nine months of a first pregnancy, except she will be the baby that comes home.

1^st month:

PREGNANT: Realizing your life is getting ready to significantly change

RETIREMENT: Realizing your life is getting ready to significantly change

2^nd month and 3^rd month:

PREGNANT: Mood swings with the changes of hormones from the baby

RETIREMENT: Mood swings with the changes of hormones from coincidental menopause

4^th month:

PREGNANT: You start to feel it move more and more, reminding you this is really happening

RETIREMENT: You start to feel removed more and more, reminding you this is really happening

5^th month:

PREGNANT: The pressure on your bladder gives you the urge to go more often

RETIREMENT: The pressure on your life gives you the urge to go on vacation more often

6^th and 7^th month:

PREGNANT: The weight makes it hard to deal with pain in your neck and back

RETIREMENT: The wait makes it hard to deal with your pain-in-the-neck boss on your back

8^th month:

PREGNANT: Time to party with baby showers

RETIREMENT: Time to party with happy hours

9^th month:

PREGNANT: Counting the days because you are so ready for it be over

RETIREMENT: Counting the days because you are so ready for it be over

FINALLY:

PREGNANT: For the first time in your life, you have a baby to care for and dedicate the rest of your life to.

RETIREMENT: For the first time in your life, you have yourself to care for and dedicate the rest of your life to.

 

It’s about time, Mom.  I hope you don’t have a miscarriage!