Enlarged Heart

We did not plan on having Boog; she was a surprise. And even though I was devastated at the time to find out that I was pregnant when I was 20-years-old, I soon came to find out it was the best mistake I ever made.

I remember how much I loved that little girl when she was just a wee baby. I always felt like I had the great ability to love more than normal people, and this was true of my first child most of all. Boog was spoiled by her grandparents, her daddy and her mommy. She was always so cute and so happy. You couldn’t help but smile whenever you were around her. It was like her aura was happy.

A little while later, we intended to get pregnant with Weasel so that the two kids would be two years apart. Before he was born, I found myself feeling so sorry for that little baby inside me. How could I possibly love it at all? I already loved Boog with all my heart, and there couldn’t possibly be much more love in me to share with this new baby.

Well, it turns out I was wrong. I didn’t need to share my heart at all. It seems that as soon as Weasel was born, my heart doubled in size… sort of like the Grinch, except mine started out large. And he was a boy! It is so true what they say about Mommy’s and their little boys. He is just a little more special in an entirely different way, just because he is my boy. But God knew to only give me one boy. They are not as much fun as the girls. He won’t let me paint his nails and he hates to shop. That’s no fun.

My heart has since quadrupled in size with the birth of Pumpkin and Cookie. And being in my mid-thirties when I had them (versus my young-twenties with Boog and Weasel) makes everything different. I appreciate things in them that I barely noticed with my first batch.

I feel like my heart is four times the size of a normal heart. I have so much love in me for all of my kids. It’s sort of amazing when you think about it. I hope that at least one of my offspring is reading this. Just know that you are loved terribly. And even though I know I am not the perfect mom, probably not even close, you could not possibly wish for a mom that loves you more. It just can’t be done.